Seneca

Ok so I haven't done anything yet, just felt like I should mention some stuff. Hopefully you noticed the quote on the page header by now.

«It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.» --Seneca

Well I find this to be the truth. You chose to run 3 miles a day, first time you do it it takes 40 minutes, 100 times later, it only takes 20 minutes. How many people give up? If you eat too much you get fat, people have the opportunity to say 'no i'll skip this gluttonous feast and see if it kills me' but they don't. Speaking of gluttons how about that article on how your brain tells you whether or not you'll be fat by age 5. Blame it all on genes, fact is if there is no food around you won't be fat. Theres no discipline and everyone says it ok. Lets all get rich quick but lets not put any effort forward. Good luck. Anyway give it some effort, if you think you have, and you still fail, clearly you haven't. Don't fuck with me I know. Try harder.

Nostalgia

Well I slept all day(1130-400, 700-1130) because I didn't feel too well so, I guess I'm up all night. I'm feeling pretty nostalgic, I'm listening to trance from 2005-2007. Pretty odd since I was out of the scene since late 2004. I built a system for production and mixing in 2004 and by summer of 2005 I was selling it all. Funny thing about memories, they always seem better or worse than they actually were. I was in the same position then as I am now, except a few less internal conflicts at this point. Everyone knows the economy is in the crapper and the united states is going out of business but hope is always a wonderful driving factor. Its what kept john conner going during the robot wars, and it kept john mcclain from jumping out of the window of the tall building when fighting severus snape (besides that whole sense of duty and all).

Well like these fools I think I will make the best of what I have going on. Being nostalgic isn't too bad, doesn't solve too much. I still need a job, still need to pay for school, still need a place to live. Lets hope all this comes soon. I dont mind living out of my car but I really need a job too, I've got bills to pay. I guess I can find something on campus if nothing good comes from this shitball hiatus I've been on. Can't say its been a total shitball though, found some grants to apply for, which I wouldve never looked for if I'd been working full time, but who knows maybe I would have. Got to do soul searching and such, nothing spectactular but figured out what I gotta do and I'm going through with it. Welp, I think I'll start writing that grant, I've already wasted a whole day might as well not waste a whole night.