I know not

The weekend draws to a close. What did I do this weekend you ask? I went and watched UFC 100 with some friends. I made 5 mixes. I cleaned portions of my room. I bought an external sound card and monitor. To me this is a pretty uneventful weekend. I know it wasn't though. I feel like I shouldve done more. I feel like I'm not in the right place. I have this feeling like I am supposed to be elsewhere, helping something, but I don't know where it is, or what it is. This feeling is always with me, but I block it easily. I will find out soon I believe. I have a long way to go. I don't mind the journey, I just don't like to be left hanging.

Mumbles.

Well I got back into DJing. Bought a 22" wide screen monitor and an external soundcard. I have 2 more semesters and im finished school. These will be tough semesters I hope I find time to lift, and DJ and win at school. If I have to I will just focus on school. Chances are i'll be working also. Probably 20 hours a week which will get me about $1000 a month. I will like that. If I get this grant for school I'll end up making enough money to pay for school and have a little extra left over. Ideally I would like to have enough money to buy a desktop with some power. Something sub $1000 but I won't do that unless I know for sure I have the money coming in. I am currently uploading all my old mixes and new mixes (which in terms of beat matching suck balls, but track lists are awesome) and I will post them here for your "pleasure". Brb bathroom. Ok back. Well I forgot what I was gunna say. But I suppose it will be all summed up with this...as long as I can keep working I will be in a good spot for the next year at least. Peace out.

New Life.

Three day weekend. Spent most of it recovering from being tired. I slept 12-14 hours thurs to fri then fri to sat then sat to sun. Nothing got done. I cleaned my room. Simply didn't make any thing I wanted to. I have time now, but I am mildly content just sitting and counting the minutes til I have to go to bed so I can wake up and go to work. I know I shouldn't be this way. I should just push myself and keep going, do what I planned to do, but I'm just recharging so I have no desire. I'm glad I have the place to myself. Makes me wish for my own place sooo bad. Perhaps next summer. Living with people is the worst thing ever.
Nice summer so far. Job's been pretty swell, though I wish I had more hours. I do nothing with my free time. Its a strange feeling. I am off at 430 or earlier monday through friday. I goto the gym, I am out by 730-800. Some days when I need to decide to go swimming/running/biking for an extra 30 minutes I tell myself "no" its getting too late. Too late for what? To go home and sit on my ass? I just don't follow through. Here is the weekend and a three day weekend at that, and if it were any shorter I would feel like I had no weekend at all and have that feeling of being waterboarded. I dunno, I think I just expect to have large chunks of time to be able to finish a project and when I don't I just don't start it since I know I won't finish. Some days I drink caffiene to give myself the jolt to get shit done. Usually never works unless I was already pumped to do it. I've picked myself apart like this before. It never changes anything. Never ever does. I am enjoying ATB's new album. I want my own gym. I want the money to goto school. I gotta fill out those papers. I think I will go do that now. Mail them out tomorrow. I just wish I could go to the top of a tall ass building, like the WTC and sit there and enjoy the weather. I wouldnt mind getting the itch for BASE jumping again. Well scratching the itch anyway.

Beach

I went to the beach this weekend. I had a good time I suppose. I didn't swim as much as I wanted. It started out with me putting in my facebook status I was going to the beach and generally when I say I am going to go do something people ignore me. Not this time. My plan was to drive down to the beach enjoy my time, swim a bit, enjoy the little sun, and just be by myself because I generally dislike people. Well once everyone read my status I got texts and phone calls and all kinds of crap to go to the beach, and sure enough, I said sure why not. It was actually this one girl who got in touch with me after a bit that made me want to get people to come. She was just cool to hang out with in moderation for the past month so I figured it'd be pretty chill having her around at the beach, but this also meant I couldn't just sleep in my car like I originally intended, so I had to get a hotel, which I was ok with. Then the whole idea of going to the beach faded because "we" couldn't find a place to stay, so I let things slide so perhaps I could go on my own. Two days later I find out about 10 more people want to go and we can stay at a friends house down there. So whatever we went. Well turns out the girl I was hoping would come down and be chill to hang with was ridiculously obnoxious and incredibly not the type of person I want to ever take anywhere. Then the other people were ok, and a few were decent to hang with. Over all I got totally drained by the obnoxious ones, and others I couldn't get away from. I ended up calling the obnoxious one a terrible person before we left. I said it in jest, but I think I meant it. Which makes me sad, but all she did the whole weekend was bust balls and scream. She wins the award for being the continously loudest person ever. I'm out.

So good news...bad news...

Good news is I passed my final. Bad news is I am starting a pretty retarded diet tomorrow. You got it, its the ketogenic diet. here is the break down:

1.Figure out your lean body mass.
2. Multiply lean body mass by 1.5 for grams of protein per day.
3. Multiply gram of protein per day x 4 to figure out calories from protein.
4. Divide calories of protein per day by 9 to get grams of fat needed per day.

No direct carbs. No bread, no gum, none of that ish. Im gunna see how it turns out. Skipping carbs is no big deal for me. Its the 350g aka 1440 calories of protein I am supposed to eat per day considering your average chicken breast is 20g I would have to eat 18 of those a day...We will see how this turns out. I am just trying to lose 20-30 lbs of fat I don't think I need. Ok done writing, bye.

I'm still nervous but I studied at work for the past hour or so. I know alot of stuff but I'm pretty scurred she'll ask questions about stuff I don't know much about. I think a campus aided all nighter is in order.

Well I my final retest tomorrow at 530pm I'm nervous as balls. I just got an email from my teacher essentially saying that I now need a 59 on my final to pass when before she said I needed a 55. In the big scheme, not a big deal but damnit every little bit helps. I felt infinitely more secure about getting a 55 than getting a 59. I just hope when it's all said and done this chapter is over and I don't need to fight to move on. We will see though. This email may scare me enough to pull another all nighter except tho time I may camp out on campus rather than in my room. God I'm so fucking nervous, I think the last time I felt this nervous a cop pulled me over for going down a one way street the wrong way in the city.